05 March 2008

grief


Good Grief.

I was told grieving is good.

Today my sweet baby would have been 9 months old.

A wave of grief has washed over me and I could not continue at work today. I wanted to stay busy and came to work as usual but as the day went I broke down too many times and therefore sat down with our grief counselor that works there. She spent a good portion of the afternoon with me and shared in my grief. I am also thankful for Tish, a lady who works there who lost her little one 10 years ago. SHe says many kind words and gives helpful hugs.

I am thankful for all those who have shared my grief as well. Nikki, Amber Capobianco, Stephanie Burton, Laurie Priest, Shelly,Lilah, Elizabeth Neal, Vi ( a lady who lost her baby girl 60 years ago and still had tears!). . . They have all lost babies as well. They have listened to me kindly.


I Am most thankful for the best husband ever, who holds me and comforts me like no chocolate ever could :)

I would love prayers as I battle this.....

and for those of you who have never lost a baby. . . be careful what you say to those who have. It's not just an "issue" that we will one day "get OVER". SO don't tell me to get over it! God forbid(TRULY) that you ever have to go through it!

And if you have lost a baby or had a miscarriage Don't tell me that you are stronger than me and Don't tell me that "if you hadn't lost that baby you wouldn't have had this other one". You have no place to compare babies like that.....

5 comments:

Anonymous said...

RAE,Just to let you know that we love you and I thank God for you. Joseph will always have a special place in our heart always remember that Jesus is with him now and we will see him someday,for now keep loving each other and redeem the time!!!praying for you and Jacob. mom A.

Anonymous said...

Rachel,
I am so sorry that you are having such a difficult time. Some days are like that. I still have days that I break down and miss Levi so very much. I know a little boy that was born at the same hospital we were at one day before Levi. I enjoy watching him and seeing what he is doing. :)Even though we have Seth now, he has not taken the place of our sweet Levi. You love every child different and just because he isn't here doesn't mean that I stop loving him or even love him any less. Sometimes I feel like there is a big gap in between Caleb our first son and Seth, our third. Levi fills that gap and he is waiting for us in heaven when we can join him. I will pray that the Lord will give you extra grace and peace.Remember that I am always here if you want to talk. :)

Love,
Nicki

Sarah Corbin said...

Rae: I'm praying for you in this difficult time. I remember so clearly when my mom lost my first little sister, how devastated I was and how seriously I took it (even though she was only a few months from conception) My heart goes out to you and I'm sorry people have been insensitive. Every life is so precious and God loves each one enough to send His Son - isn't that enough to prove Him amazing caring for us? Love you Rachel and I pray the Lord will comfort your heart with His care for your Joseph.

TwoMuths said...

Rachel,
I think of you often, and pray that God will hold you in His arms during the times you hurt the most.

Jenny

Preston's Mommy & Daddy said...

Rachel...............my heart continuely aches for you guys. It is so hard to know why God allows this but I hope you can find comfort in knowing that God works things out to the good of those who love Him. I still miss my baby that I lost 3 years ago and I know I always will. It's a bond that will be there forever and I always mark it on my calendar every year when the baby's due date would have been. When and if the Lord does bless you with another child, it wont take away the hurt from your loss of Joseph like some would like to say but it will help ease some of the pain and void you are feeling.